wordsmithlind

Now this is news, real news, not the type of news that just speculates on world events and Obama appointees.  No, this is the hard-hitting, groundbreaking stuff we’ve come to expect from the fourth estate.  Yes, this it.  Thank you AP for this.  Apparently, leave it to the Texans as well, some wildlife experts at Texas A&M are trying to figure out the sexes of Santa Claus’ reindeer.  The results may shock you.  If there are any small children in the room, you may want to escort them out of the room.  Everything we’ve ever thought may be thrown out, all indoctrinations may be disturbed, the world itself may never be the same again…

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081219/ap_on_fe_st/rudolph_s_gender;_ylt=AnEyIfRrod82iR3aRIXLNxpG2ocA

Pakistani militants are stepping up their attacks by destroying over 160 US and NATO vehicles at two transport terminals.  The vehicles eventually would have made their way to Afghanistan to fight “the war on terror.”  The US and NATO ship supplies through Pakistan as Afghanistan is a landlocked country, now they will have to think twice.  If more of these attacks are to happen, retaliation will be eminent.  The question goes back to an earlier blog, will Bush do it alone or with Obama’s blessing?  And if he fails to do so, will Obama do it as he stated about Iran in his speech in Berlin, Europe will join the US in any more action in the war on terror?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081207/ap_on_re_as/as_pakistan;_ylt=AmNvEyaoagb1KdrvSzHFCT1vaA8F

Yes, a shameless self-promotion for none other than myself, hence the “self” part in self-promotion, and since no one reads the news on Friday, what better time than now?  Recently I began writing post game stories for the Chicago Blackhawks on www.chicagosporting.com.   The stories are short and sweet and they recap the main highlights of the game.  For those who do not know, the Chicago Blackhawks are a professional hockey team from the National Hockey League (NHL).   It is a great time to be writing for Chicago Sporting about the Hawks as they are at the beginning of a renaissance and becoming a household name in the Chicago area again.  Just a few years ago they were named the worst franchise in sports, now they are in second place in the Central Division, go figure.  So, hesitate not, read away.

Another sad stray from our political circus ‘08.  Here is another attempt at getting paid on the side.  It did not work out as planned, so here is for all to read for free……………………

In Family Guy Patriot Games, Peter becomes a star for the New England Patriots after meeting Tom Brady at his 25^th high school reunion.  Peter’s ridiculous antics spoof the many aspects of professional football (Peter repeatedly spanking a player for a job well-done, a towel fight in the shower with Tom Brady, and his terrible attempt at acting in his role in a television commercial).  The episode hits a low spot about halfway through when Peter goes into a lengthy (almost two and a half minutes) and not so funny song and dance number to put extra, unneeded emphasis on his showboating ways.  Family Guy Patriot Games gets back on course when Peter is booted from the Patriots and is traded to the hilariously named London Silly Nannies, the worst football team in all of Europe.  Peter then goes on to pump the Silly Nannies full of steroids and then challenge the New England Patriots to a grudge match.             

I found the Stewie and Brian storyline in Family Guy Patriot Games to be much funnier than the main story and it completely steals this episode.  With Stewie acting as a bookie and Brian the gambler refusing to pay, Stewie gives Brian’s life a hilarious living hell with Goodfellas style beatings, demanding “Where’s my money, man!  You got ‘til five o’clock, you hear me, you ‘til five o’clock…clean yourself up.”  I think these are some of the funniest Stewie and Brian interactions (and bloodiest) in the history of the show.  After repeated beatings, Brian finally pays up only to torture Stewie with the knowledge that revenge is inevitably on the way.

Family Guy Patriot Games is not the funniest episode ever, but it does deliver all that is expected from a Family Guy episode with its jump-cut jokes and its senseless storyline.  

A sad stray from Palin for a day, but more of her to come in the future.  I wrote this in hopes of making a couple of bucks on the side.  Naturally it didn’t work so here it is……………… 

Disney and Pixar created a gem of a movie when they created Ratatouille.  Winner of the 2008 Academy Award for Best Animated Feature Film of the Year, Ratatouille entertained and awed viewers of all ages with its outstanding animation, jazzy score, and its heart-warming tale of a rat and his dreams of becoming a chef.  Like all Pixar releases, Ratatouille is given the family friendly “G” rating, though some of the jokes will fly over the heads of the younger crowd.  Yet unlike the movie, the DVD focuses its attention more on adults and the parents of the youngsters who otherwise will love this film.

            The Ratatouille DVD includes the innocent alien short film Lifted, which once again people of all ages will enjoy.  Aside from this, the rest of the DVD steers the fun away from the younger crowd.  The humorous and informational PSA, Your Friend the Rat, puts Remy and Emile as hosts and narrators of a brief history lesson in the relationship between humans and rats.  Even as it is fun to look at, the content of this short is much too heavy even though it is done in a light manner.  Young children will grow bored of this, older elementary children may enjoy it, and adults will find it extremely interesting.  The actual “Bonus Features” make no attempt at attracting children, as one of the four features is a 13-minute “conversation” with the director.  The other “Bonus Features” are deleted scenes completed for the DVD release of Ratatouille.  Adults will find these interesting as the segments are filled with voice-overs and interviews explaining the scenes, but a child will not hesitate to hit the skip button.

            The overall look of the DVD is fun with animated menu screens and music from the movie.  Parents should not avoid this movie just because the DVD features are not aimed solely at children; the movie alone is worth the purchase of the Ratatouille DVD.   

Reeducation through the Deconstruction of Symbols.  Not destruction, deconstruction.  I was staring at the floor while the movie played.  I remembered an image of a video of a memory of mine.  In the video an American flag is lying on the grass while a green A with a circle is spray painted.  In real life a friend of my brother says how it disgusts him.  A voice that is mine says why.  That is an American flag is responded.  Who cares my voice again what does it matter it is only a flag.  It is fabric.  It is nothing.  That flag does not mean nothing.  Everything it stands for is disrespected.  I stare and I look.  I see nothing.  I see kids with paint and an old rag playing revolutionary.  I see a kid with a sweater holding a video camera playing proud patriot.  I see actors in a play following a script.  The rag is hung upside down.  Disrespect.  SOS.  Emergency.  Excuse me sir your flag is upside down.  Yes, I know.  Thank you for your concern.  All right, I just wanted to let you know have a good day.  Good-bye.  The man in the mask follow his herd of Individualists.  Free thinkers.  Radical.  Progressives.  The system.  System.  The System beckons them.  On and on with no where to go.  Fragments of a mind.  There is some paint on your flag.  Oh.  I didn’t know.  Let me help you with that.  Be careful, you might get some on your clothes, there you go.  Thank you so much, that was a close one.  If only everyone could be as nice as that gentleman.  Men.  Women.  Gentlepersons in a gentleworld where peace is the ever attainable goal.  Peace through Art that are currently symbols that will no longer be seen.  Evoking nothing it will.  An image that becomes a relic.  An image that inspires no politics, emotions or ideas.  All symbols will become the Great Wall.  I stare at the TV in my brain on the floor and the image is gone.  Nothing.  Only the fuzz of the television that was never there.  I wonder how this will be accomplished.  Not now it will soon it won’t someday maybe.  Deconstruct the symbols around you and a new light will be seen.  No drugs necessary just the means.

Monday’s are always the best, or are they the worst, I can’t remember.  I think it is probably the worst.  Yeah, that would make the most sense, but it could be the best.  It is the farthest day from Sunday when you have to go to church again.   Yes, I will say it is the best.  Oh, you are Religious you say?   You don’t hate church?   You love your Cadillac?   You are so fucked and mislead you can’t even see it.  What is normal to you is so absurd to me.  Oh, you bought a widescreen TV?  That’s great.  Oh, you had to put it on your credit card though.  That’s unfortunate.  You got a six speaker surround sound stereo system?  That’s makes you living room even better I would say.  Oh, credit card again.  That nasty credit card.  Tell me, what do you own?  Your house?  Your car?  Your kids?  Yes, your kids.  The greatest possession a person can have.  Any asshole can have a kid, but you need good credit to buy a car and a license to drive it.   What?  Did I see the game on Sunday?  No.  What do I mean “no”?  I mean No, I did not see the game on Sunday.  Weren’t you supposed to go to church?  Oh, I see, you left early to get home to watch the game.  That’s probably what Jesus would have done.  Jesus was a big football fan, he told me.  He likes the Chiefs this season.  Or is that my boss?  I can’t remember, they’re both fiction to me.  Hey, your kid is crying.  He knows to wait until a commercial, I see.  What happens when you are watching a movie on HBO?  Do you just let him sit there and cry?  That is ridiculous, I must be an idiot.  He needs to be tougher?  Why?  Oh, yeah, that’s right, quarterbacks don’t cry.  Did you play football?  No?  But he is going to, right?  You’ll be at every game.  That’s great.  Oh, except for Sunday.   What about practice?  That will probably be during the week, you’ll probably be working.  The wife, that’s right.  Gotcha.  Good lordy, it’s getting late.  I should probably get going.  One more beer?  Nah, I really have to go.  Your kid is crying again.  After that beer, I understand.  Well, bye.

What would Jesus do?  What does it matter what Jesus would do?  Why don’t people try thinking for themselves?  Why this and why that?  Fuck.  It is an American thing.  Yes, of course, it is an American thing.  That will be my excuse.  Always try your hardest.  It’s not about winning or losing, but if you lose, you won’t be popular, and everybody will think you are a loser.  If you win, now there is a good thought.  If you win, everyone will like you, but that is until you become conceited and arrogant.  Don’t win and don’t lose.  You know what, don’t even try, there is no point.  None of it matters anyway.  Soon you will be dead and on your way to becoming precious oil.  Now oil, that is something special.  One of the most precious material objects ever known to man.  It is the cause of war and greed and famine and death.  The black substance that consists of death.  Take death from the ground and acts of evil are done in it’s name.  A big surprise if you ask me.  Now I ask, what would Jesus do?  Well, I suppose God would say that it is all right, as long as you go to church on Sunday and read the Bible, but don’t worry, it does not matter if you apply what you have learned to everyday life.  Hell, you can be an asshole all week, work your job as head of a major corporation that uses sweat shop labor and then cheat on your wife, but as long as you are at church on Sunday and say that you read the Bible you’ll be alright.  God Bless, you say on Sunday, Fuck off on Monday. 

This was written about a party I had at my house a few years ago:

The devil was present and a vortex of hate formed.  The pig hosted, we attended.  The pig watched; the pig encouraged all that is wrong with man.

Individualism and narcissism were the themes.  The Battle of Gettysburg took place and the battle torn field was all that remained.  The heat rose and the pig pushed for more.

The backyard turned into the Lord of the Flies.  The Lord’s head was not on a stake but in a gas lamp in the front of the house.  The fire roared with the help of a weather worn couch.  The Sanctuary from Stupidity eventually was engulfed into the madness.  Fight after fight for pride, proof that the bigger man is the one who walks away.

All of it was nonsense.  I slept not.  I “woke” wondering what had happened.  Where had the madness come?  Why did it come here?

Seeing old friends again made for the most enjoyable sanctuary from all the madness.  Old friends, old faces, some that were never thought to be seen again.

The face the most that stood from the rest, held the heart at times before.  The hand that held the heart vanished.  The fallen organ pleaded to the mind to disavow existence.  Undue what is done.  Unsee what has been sawn.

Upon the return, the face awoke the heart.  The mind allowed it to pass in the foolish hopes of bringing about what never was.

The pig created this fake imagery.  The pig created this.  The pig will tempt and taunt the emotions of the weak.  The pig will present a maiden in attempt to control the wicked.  The pig waits to own the soul.  The pig took hold of all.  The pig ruled the mass.  The pig destroyed the group.  The pig created the individual.  The pig destroyed humility and created the ego.  The pig was the ruler.

More chaos.  What have I done?  I just destroyed all of their hardwork.  Their dance of chaos continues, never reaching the fullness of the previous. 

They keep working.  In fact, it appears as if the water has helped them.  With the sand clumpy and saturated, it appears as if it is easier to move, and put into place.  They are progressing faster than ever.  An actual hole is formed, where as before the sand kept falling in on itself when it was dry, thus preventing the formation of an entrance to their home that I destrotyed.

I watch in amazement as these little tractors carry boulders out bigger than their heads.  Four of them line the walls of the entrance, holding it into place, as the others walk right over them, still digging out the hole.  What a sight! Their world completley destroyed.  Within hours, they are well on their way to being finished by nightfall.  They will do it.  They must.  They are my ants.  They can do anything.

Not if I have a say.  More water.  That ought to make things more interesting.  I dump another sip’s worth, and then go back to my rocks.

I try to drill a hole through a slab of sandstone with a stick.  I have to keep replacing the stick.  The sandstone is just too tough for one stick.

I drill for an hour.  I will get through the stone.  I will.  I drill and I drill.  A nicely shaped hole is formed.  Smooth.  I drill and I drill.  I will get through.  I am creating.  I am destroying.  I must destroy.  I must create.  It is my way.  I am human.  I must destroy in order to create.  I must.  It is my way.  It is our way.

I cannot drill all the way through.  Night has fallen, and I am tired of drilling.  A half inch deep hole in the sandstone.  Not too bad.

I did more damage to that rock in a couple of hours than Mother Nature has done in the past thousand years.  I have made something unnatural.  It is now man-made.  In middle of nature there is my creation.  Mine.  I did it.  It stands out.  I personalized it.  It is no longer natural.  My creation.

I wake the next day.  The ants are still working.  On my way out of camp I give the ant hill another kick.  This time for old times sake.  This is their last challenge.  When completed, they will be free, for I will be long gone.  My ants will no longer be at my disposal.  I will no longer be controlling them.  Destroying their home.  Disrupting their way of life.  I am no longer their God.